I have always noticed the symptoms in my mom. The way she latches on to someone else’s problems and hurts so very deeply for them that I worry her heart will explode with grief long before theirs ever does. She lies awake at night, unable to sleep because her mind won’t let go of the concerns she holds for them, and during the day I will catch a moment’s sorrow caught in her eyes, and I know that she is hurting…hurting for the world…or at least for someone in it whom she loves. I have watched for years as these indicators of a deep capacity to feel have read like words on a page across my mother’s face
…and now I realize that I too have contracted these symptoms.
There is no perfect way to define feeling deeply. It simply means that your sorrows become our sorrows, the pain you feel affects us, and the trials you experience are always on our minds. To feel deeply is to be swept up in the emotions of those we care about—and sometimes those we hardly even know—simply because we cannot help it. It means that we hurt for you even when others don’t think twice about what you are experiencing. We feel deeply.
Some would say that this gift is very much a curse. Who wants to experience those restless nights on another’s behalf? Who wants to feel sorrow when it is not their own problem? Who wants to carry that deep-down stone-like feeling in their gut every time the news is turned on? As I watch my mother struggle with the concerns of others, I can only wonder why she must carry the emotional burdens of others when she already has so many trials of her own. It doesn’t seem fair that we must feel so deeply.
But if it is because of this capacity to feel deeply that we hurt even when others don’t think twice about the sorrow you are experiencing. It also means that we notice even when no one else does. It means that we have the ability to send an extra letter in the mail to someone who is hurting or even to simply give a smile of encouragement. It means that we can lift you up in prayer and send you small notes of reassurance. It means that we know to ask the right questions even when all is not well. And, my favorite part, it also means that we can experience the full-fledged joy that comes into your heart when the days get better. All of these things, make feeling deeply a blessing beyond description.
And here is what I believe:
That it is not by chance that some have been chosen to feel deeply. It is not simply a matter of a particular chemical balance or of being raised a certain way, though these too may play a factor. I am a firm believer that there is a reason that God has given me the ability to feel deeply.
1 Corinthians 12 talks of the gift of the Spirit. “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit…” and I dare to claim to another the ability to feel deeply and love compassionately.
To feel deeply is a gift given by the Spirit, not so that we may experience more sorrow, but so that we can care for those around us who do. As a community in Christ we are called to pray for one another always, but especially when the going gets tough. Ephesians 6:18 says “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and request. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people” (NIV).
But in such a busy world as this how often we forget to look past our own needs when bringing our requests for the Lord. How difficult it is to step out of our everyday thoughts and see where others are hurting and to bring these requests before God. And that, I believe is why the Spirit has given some of the us the gift to feel deeply. He did not mean for it to be a burden nor a curse. He meant for us to bring the concerns of others, even the concerns that are noticed by very few, before our good, good Father in prayer.
What a blessed task we have been given!
God is so very good!
4/25/16
Proverbs 19:21 