I’m nearly convinced that people innately believe that food heals all ailments (physical, emotional, you name it). This sounds ridiculous, but our fridge and freezer are real-life testimonies to this statement. Tamales, meatloaf, taco salad, raspberry cheesecake, casseroles, pork loin, chocolate chip cookies, and soup on top of soup on top of soup (there must be something really magical about soup because that stuff just comes by the gallons).
Ok. I’ll admit it. I’m pretty much in heaven with all this homemade food pouring through our doors. I’m not going to complain one bit that I don’t have to cook anything during this rather unexpected visit home. In fact, I love that everyone’s love language in the tough times seems to be providing food. It is honestly an incredibly huge blessing and the sentiment behind it all is worth more to me than even the 5 loaves of Aunt Alice’s homemade French bread sitting on our kitchen table right now (and that’s saying something!).
But the truth is, that besides accepting these piles of incredibly delicious meals,
I (and my family) have a difficult time accepting help from others.
….because, believe it or not, The Hoflands are a bunch of strong-willed, stubborn, do-it-yourselfers (shocking, I know!) who don’t like to take handouts.
And so I’ve been at a bit of a loss this past week as the phone calls, text messages, and emails have poured in, saying “if there’s any way that I can help, let me know.” I just don’t know how to be helped.
But leave it to Mrs. Borges to set me straight on this sort of thing. On the day I flew back to CA last week, as I was confiding in her that I no idea how our little family could be helped right then beyond prayers, she knew exactly what to say:
“You are the first to be there, and the last to leave when anyone else needs help. Now it’s time to let us take our turn.”
And she is right. We Hoflands love to help. We don’t have much in the way of money, but we are always willing to give our time and our hard-work to support someone else. I don’t ever remember being taught to act that way. It’s just ingrained in our bones.
But if I’m honest, I don’t know what it looks like to allow myself to be helped.
I know the Bible talks a lot about giving. But I was realizing that I know very little of what it says about receiving. However, I think accepting help comes down to one little principle: pride.
The reason why it is so much more difficult to accept help than it is to give it, is that we are prideful creatures (at least I know I am!). We think that we can take care of ourselves. We think that we can grab ourselves by our bootstraps and pull ourselves up before anyone notices that we’ve fallen. We are proud of how we take care of ourselves.
Psalm 10:4 (NIV) says that “In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.”
When I am too proud to accept the help of others, I leave no room for God to work in my life through others. I think too deeply of myself, and I easily forget that these times of uncertainty in my own life are the best opportunities for God to minister to me through others. But He can only do that if I allow others to reach out to me and help.
And so I am learning a new lesson this week. I am learning to let go of my pride, to allow myself to be more vulnerable, and to rely on God as he works through others.
Sometimes it takes more grace and more patience to be helped than it does to help others. It takes stepping over the mountain of pride that we clutch to our chest as our own safety nets.
And so yes! I will accept your large pot of chicken noodle soup….but I am also trying to learn to accept your help in others ways, because I know that God is working in my life through you. I just have to be vulnerable enough to let it happen!
God is (as always) VERY good!
10/5/16
Proverbs 19:21 